Batman reigns supreme

This is a battle that wasn't worth fighting today.

I knew I would lose to Batman!!

He's a pretty strong superhero!

4 amazing years (with a preface)

I'm so grateful for blogging.

I think you all would agree with me!

We all blog, for some reason or another...because we personally get something out of it!

I love my new friends.

I love the immeasurable vastness of it...

I'm grateful for the support I receive through it.

(thank you all for your kind words)

I love the entertainment value.

I'm thankful so many people put it out there for all to see...

Thank you for sharing your life with me.

Thank you for your examples.

As you all read my blog, you see I am

happy and I love my life.

You also see I am

sad, and I struggle with my trials.

WE ALL HAVE GOOD AND BAD

that we trudge through day after day.

Some people convey only the good on their blogs. Some people convey only the bad.

I don't think I have a focus.

I blog my life.

I do not brag that I have the best life, nor complain that I have the worst life.

People have much more than me...and some people have it much harder than me.

I am me.

I hope I didn't seem whiny in these past few posts.

I only want to share my tribulations because

(it's therapeutic in ways, and releasing steam is essential so my head doesn't explode)

I believe I am constantly learning in this mortal existence, and maybe someone else can gain some insight for themselves as they see me battle through my personal growth spurts.

(and not that I am a great example by any means, but because I am trying)

I know for me that is how I have learned...watching people in their experiences of life.

The sadness in my life stings while I endure, but my blessings far outweigh that sadness.

I have

SO MUCH.

I could make this post a mile long listing all the blessings that I have.

I just want to say that I recognize my blessings. I am not an ungrateful person.

I wonder if some people might think I am asking for a lot when I seem to have so much already.

I only ask for a desire that is inborn in me.

After that...nothing more.

I have an amazing husband, a beautiful angelic son, health and strength, a supportive family,

the gospel of Jesus Christ.

(I'll stop here because I told you the list is too long!)

I am so grateful for my life!!!!

I'm so grateful I've had the opportunity to marry a respectful, honorable, fabulous, handsome man, who is my eternal companion.

I'm so grateful I am a mother. I love Tanner more than anything and would never trade him, even if I was told I could have 10 biological children.

Never. Never. Never.

******

My infertility has brought me one of my

greatest blessings ever.

TANNER.

This post kind of wound up differently than I imagined...it was supposed to be a happy birthday post to Tanner. Sorry it was lengthy and wordy. My heart overrides my brain sometimes.

Anywho.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNER.

You are a miracle in our lives. I could make this post even doubly long telling you exactly what you mean to me...but I hope you ALWAYS know I love you more than my heart has room for and I would do anything for you!

I love your birth-mom and thank her everyday for giving me the piece of my heart that was missing for so long.

This day we were sealed for eternity together,

but long before that in our hearts was forever!

too cute for words

another round

I've missed out on several rounds of being pregnant with my sisters.

Luckily the last round of my 3 sisters being pregnant I joined in, but my baby was being born in my heart!!!!!

We each had children within 9 months of each other and Tanner is the youngest of them.

They are all adorable and great buddies :)

The first two girls on the left were the first round of pregnancies I missed.

They were born 3 days apart.

The next 4 cuties are all the same age.

CUTE cousins.

It looks like I am about to miss another round.

Last month I had a dream about Kim being pregnant with a baby girl. I emailed her and told her my dream. She called me for more details...only for me to find out she really was pregnant!!!

I'm psychic. How cool is that.

Last night I found out my adorable sister-in-law who married my brother last year is pregnant as well. They are the cutest couple, I am so happy for them.

I believe they are each a week apart!! ___________

My heart is so saddened because I wanted to join in the fun, bond with my sisters and talk about how each other is getting fat and swollen, how uncomfortable we are, how cool it is to feel the baby kick, and experience the miracle it must be to have a child.

Yet, I am so happy for them!!

I'm so glad none of them have to experience the pain of infertility!!

My dreams are different now. I won't stop dreaming though, because dreams are HOPE and hope is always possible.

I will never stop dreaming to have a child through my own body. That is what I am created for, to give life. It is the measure of my creation.

I'll just add to my dreams that another child can come to our family. That is all that really matters. It doesn't matter what route it comes, just that it hopefully comes!

Maybe I really will be in on this round of my sister's pregnancies again...

maybe a child is being born in my heart right now

(or soon-to-be)!!

CONGRATS GIRLS.

I LOVE YOU!!

Just breathe

I'm glad today is a new day.

We all have really good days that we don't want to end, and sometimes we have bad days that we can't wait for them to end fast enough.

Yesterday I felt like this:

I usually try to post uplifting, good posts. I just need to vent for one second.

Yesterday I felt like I was up against a wall.

I'm TRYING so hard to remain faithful and stalwart while dealing

with an 8 year trial that doesn't seem to end.

I think I'm doing so good and that my desires will be met, but NO is what I'm continually told over and over. I try to have faith and understanding that my Father, Heavenly Father, that knows all and knows best, is in control and knows what He's doing.

I don't feel stable in my emotions. One day I have a grasp on things and I see clearly, the next day I can be an emotional wreck and can barely hold it together.

I'm tired of falling asleep in my tears. I'm tired of feeling my heart rip with each beat.

I'm in the middle of the biggest growth spurt of my life! I'm not talking physically obviously, but emotionally and spiritually.

Growing pains HURT!

I remember my shins hurting when I was younger and feeling those growing pains. I'm grateful for them because I didn't want to remain 3 feet tall my whole life. Growing pains are essential, but the pain is unbearable at times.

"Challenges and difficulties that many of us resist are the very elements which refine us and make godly men and women. The Lord will try you in every attribute possessed by man and at all stages of development in your life. He will try you again and again until you know that you are able and will serve him at all costs."

I feel I am being tried

AGAIN and AGAIN.

"Prepare for constant and intense trials of your faith. Tribulation is a refiner of faith. The Lord said, For after much tribulation come the blessings. The hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand."

[D&C 58:4]

I feel like my trial has been

CONSTANT and INTENSE.

I thought I had almost made it...we have done

EVERYTHING

physically possible to have a baby, and I thought this time was the answer.

Silly face I know, trying to make the situation lighter!

NO.

My answer once again.

I thought my tribulation was about to end, and the blessings would come.

Does anyone know exactly how soon "nigh at hand" is!!??

I hope it is awfully soon because my rope is fraying!!!!

I know we each have our trials to endure in this life, and that is the only way we can progress and learn. It makes sense...how else can we prove our faithfulness. Just like in school we are tested on the knowledge we learn in class to see if we have learned...this is our life, to be tested and proven herewith. Tribulations and problems are what this earthly school is made of.

I will not fail.

I know what I've been taught, and I will pass.

However, I'm still learning, and still experiencing my growing pains.

I know that my teacher loves me. He is my Father and He wants what is best for me. Just as Landon and I love Tanner with such an intense love, we often tell him

NO.

He doesn't always understand why at the moment...

just as I don't understand why at this moment.

But I have faith. I trust. I love my Father. I KNOW he loves me.

I will continue to try and endure!!

Stampin' Up!

The new

Stampin' Up!

catalog is here and ready for YOU.

It has so many new

adorable stamp sets,

fun accessories,

cute paper...

and much more.

Check it out on-line at http://www.stampinup.com/

Here are some pix from the Stampin' Up! party I had while in Utah.

These are the cute projects I designed that we made...

Cute gift sacks turned into baby onesies.

I got the general idea from convention...ADORABLE!

These are just $1 wooden frames from Michaels that we mod podged designer paper with. The one strip of flowered paper was stamped with "stitched Exotics!!

I love making my own frames :)

My momma mod podging her frame!

Half of the group...I totally forgot to take pictures and most of the people had already left!

It was fun though. Thanks for your help mom, and thanks to everyone that came!

I guess I didn't get a close up of the card we made, but it was really cute and simple.

____________

If anyone is interested in ordering anything, email me anytime.

There is an awesome promotion going on for awhile. Check out this sale!!

and

this promotion!!

role model

I know, I know...almost everyone has posted about him.

But I

LOVE

the Olympics and what they represent.

Not only is it awesome to feel the

American Pride,

but it is so fun to see these Olympians fulfill their dreams and encourage the rest of us to make our own!!!!

Michael Phelps is an awesome example and role model for the world.

So is Dara Torres!!

It's wonderful to witness experiences like these and to see that it can be done!!

I hope the youth/future leaders of the world can learn these lessons, as well as the rest of us!!

Bear Lake

We had a mini family reunion the last three days, with family that lives here in Utah.

Everyone-out of staters -were invited to come to Bear Lake, but it ended up only being half of my mom's siblings and families that came.

It was tons of fun!!

Not much sleep was had, but there was plenty of fun in the sun.

My momma and her momma!

Playing the game "signs!" It's hilarious.

Watching the Olympics!!

Having tons of fun on the beach...

Quirky Tanner Kirky has to put everything in his pants...shovel,rake, pirate swords...I think I know what to get him for his bday next week. A tool belt!! Funny boy!!

Getting sand in every crevice!

Lining up for the water balloon launch.

Bombs away!!!!

Water balloon volleyball. Girls vs boys.

(girls kicked butt. lol)

go fight win

Enjoying cousin time and the beautiful scenery. Having fun riding the sea-doo!!

Having a relaxing GOOD time :)

We had a blast and we are so glad we got to stay and have fun with our family...the only thing is we missed Daddy terribly.

Tomorrow we go home though and can't wait for big hugs from dad.

Love you!!

____________________

Until next time...we will miss you Utah!

Thanks for all the good times: family and friends :)

Weber county fair

We attended the Weber county fair this last Saturday. It was fun eating Navajo Taco's, seeing the exhibits, pushing our way through the crowds and looking at all the stinky animals!!

We brought my adorable niece, Brooke, along for the fun. The kids were SO CUTE.

They had a blast.

As we pulled into the fair they were so excited. They saw an usher on a horse

and said

"look at the horse, it's real!"

They couldn't wait to go see all the animals!

Tanner would stick his hand through the gate real fast for a quick pet and then pull it out. He thought it was pretty funny!!

Big achievers: they milked a cow!!

education on what we don't want to become: big fat lazy pigs!

Chalked up another fun day!