Monday, December 24, 2007

It's Christmas and...

It's Christmas Eve and in two hours, central time, it will be Christmas! There are a few things I'm NOT grateful for. I'm not grateful that I wasn't able to get pregnant this month AGAIN, after month after month after month after year after year after year after year...of trying. I'm not grateful that half of my day was spoiled because of that depression and sadness. I'm not grateful that we have NO family close by to spend the holiday's with. That's it. I'm NO scrooge. Those are just the hard cold facts. Everything else in the world that exists, I am grateful for (that's a stretch, but almost true!)

I am grateful to have family I can email and call, even though they are far away.

I am grateful to HAVE FAMILY (extended, immediate, in-laws, step family...)

I am grateful for an AMAZING, unbelievably patient, loving husband who I get to keep forever and ever.

I am grateful for a beautiful son that came into our lives, healed our hearts and brought us more joy we ever could have EVER EVER EVER imagined.

I am grateful for my health, happiness and LIFE itself.

I am grateful for the first time after 7 years of working the holidays as a nurse, I don't have to!

I am grateful for a comfortable home, plenty of clothes, and food to eat everyday.

I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and that our Savior Jesus Christ was born to save us all...and for that very reason we are celebrating right now.

I am grateful for my Savior that can comfort me when I have my ungrateful moments of sadness. He knows me and He understands my pain.

I am grateful for ALL of my many many blessings and for everything else I have and know that was given to me from a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me in return.

I am grateful for that knowledge, that has forever changed my life.

I am grateful!

15 comments:

Paige said...

I'm really sorry about the test result but amazed at your fantastic attitude!

Have you gotten my fun gift yet? I sent it on Monday! Wishing you a very merry Christmas.

Paige

Hollyween said...

Jill, I love you.
You're amazing. And you manage to turn things around to a positive even though I know you feel like crap right now. The scrooge picture is PERFECT!!

Merry Christmas, Jill!!! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming just keep swimming (I'm Dory from Nemo and the swimming thing has double meaning if you know what I mean).

chrissy said...

Merry Christmas, Jill!

Heather Dawson said...

Merry Christmas!! I know it's hard to be away from (extended) family at the holidays. It was pretty depressing to talk to my family last night all celebrating at my mom's while I was watching the "Santa Clause 2" by myself. But, one day we'll make our way back west, right??
Sorry about your test results -- we'll keep praying for you!
Love, Heather

shauna said...

I am sorry for your pain and aloneness but touched by your gratitude and testimony. Don't ever give up.

Thanks for the second card--Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family too!

Celia Fae said...

Aw Jill. That stinks that you have to go through the awfulness of infertility and homesickness. I'm impressed you aren't jaded and bitter. I know I might be.

I hope someone from your family called and told you what an awful time they were having. I try to do that for my sisters that are away. I think they know, but oh well.

Have a wonderful day with your sweet boy, husband, and Jesus.

Ashley said...

I LOVE YOU JILL!!!!! I am so sorry, but I think you are SO AMAZING!!!! Both you and Lanny! :) Know that you will always be in my heart and my prayers.

McMillan Family said...

Jill.
I am so sorry. We love you.

Camille said...

That really sucks. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to go through that. I'm so sorry! Way to go with the positive attitude though- you are SO fortunate to have SUCH a GORGEOUS little boy (that smile!), and husband who loves you so much. Plus you are beautiful, which isn't fair to the rest of us. :-) MERRY (late) CHRISTMAS JILL!!

D-dawg said...

Jill, I'm so sorry. Negative results are the worst of the worst. I know everyone already said it but you do amaze me with your happiness and forward-looking attitude. I wish I was better at that.

The Brann's said...

I'm sorry to hear your bad news. My thoughts are with you!!

Emily said...

All I can say is I love you, JIll! You are amazing!

Becky said...

Jill! I am sorry. I have been praying really hard that you can get pregnant! I will keep praying, hoping and wishing for you! I know how horrible this is. I hated IUI! UGH!!!

Mariel said...

What a sad and lovely post at the same time! Sometimes remembering what you are grateful for is the only way to make it through those tought times. Good job!

Meredith said...

I am so sorry, Jill. I know how much you & Landon want another baby. You guys are the best parents in the world! It just makes me so sad. Your testimony and your faith inspire me! Love you guys!