We have a winner!!

Okay, you guys just don't listen to me. Do ya!

I told you she is growing toooooooooooooooooo fast.

Yall didn't believe me.

I have been cracking up, literally, at everyones guesses. That was so fun! Funny thing though, yall are naive as I was. I thought maybe Kam would reach the 8 lb mark...but when she tipped the scales at

9 lbs 13 ounces

I was dying!!!!

I wish she was still as little as yall think. But no my friends. She's not.

Sniff sniff sob sob. Waaaaaaaa!!

My baby is growing way too fast. Do you believe me now!!??

Dear Miss Carpenter, you are the fabulous and lucky winner with the closest guess at 9 lbs 6 ounces. WELL DONE! Congrats. Just email me (luckiestgirlalive at hotmail dot com) your mailing address and I will send you a fun pampering bag of goodies, JUST FOR LiL oL YOU!!

Thanks for playing everyone. That was super fun :)

guessing game giveaway!

It's confirmed.

I knew Kam was getting bigger because she's filling out her car seat, her clothes are getting a little more snug, and her cheeks are about to pop... but I was trying to deny it. Well, I just got back from Kambrie's 6 week well check up. And. She's gained weight. It's undeniable. She doesn't weigh 5 lbs 6 ounces anymore.

She's growing toooooooooooo fast.

I thought it would be fun to do a give-away with a guessing game.

Guess how much Princess Kambrie weighs now.

Pounds

and

ounces.

The one who comes closest without going over will win a fab

GIRL GRAB BAG!

(good stuff yall!)

Because, let's face it. GIRLS ROCK!

Go ahead, take your best guess.

(anyone can play...unless you already know...dang...sorry Mom, Carrie and Nancy)

Sunday dress is best!

Bows, Bracelets, Bling...Beautiful!

I ♥ that her tights are too big. I ♥ the bracelet on her baby fat wrist! (Thanks Andi. My SIL made it) I ♥ her headbands and flowers. I ♥ her dainty body in her adorable dresses. I ♥ the ruffled bum underneath them. I just ♥♥♥ everything about HER!!

Stop. Look. and Listen.

I'm not talking about cars.

I'm talking about my life.

This might be my new motto.

Stop look and listen.

It's what I love to do.

STOP.

I want to pause time. I'm stopping my daily routines. I cherish every second. I don't want this to end. I stop, and enjoy.

LOOK.

I stare at her beauty and the wonder of her creation. I laugh at her facial expressions and random facial twitches. I'm in awe of the pure miracle she is. I could look at her all day.

LISTEN.

I love hearing her heavy breathing, moans, sleeping giggles, grunts, squeaks, and even her CRIES. They are beautiful. They are healing. My heart has longed for these noises and I adore them. Nothing makes me more happy than hearing her breath in my ear as I snuggle her cheek to cheek.

♥ STOP LOOK and LISTEN ♥

shopping help

Awesome coupon HERE.

For Gap, Old Navy and Banana Republic.

Fun Tday idea's!

Remember the cute Witches hat idea that so many of you loved and duplicated... well here are some pilgrim hats! You can use Reeses or chocolate covered marshmallows. Yum. So cute!

I love all these idea's... cute food projects, crafts and decor, and games to play all month long or save them for your special family day on Thanksgiving. Thought I'd just share what I found on-line and maybe you'll enjoy doing them yourselves as well :)

Have fun!!

meeting more family

Two weeks ago Kevin, Landon's father, and his wife Susan, came to visit. We had a fun time with them and were grateful they came to meet Kambrie!

The weather was so nice...just what a beautiful Fall day should be. We went to Pirates Cove and played a little mini golf. Tanner even got a hole in one. I think Gpa Kirk did too! I can't remember if Landon ever did...for his sake we'll say YES. Then we got ice cream, and went back home to watch the BYU football game. What a great relaxing weekend.

gratitude

This month is an obvious time for reflection on our blessings.

And first on my mind is my family (of course!)

___________________________

I've had so many emotions lately and I don't know how to regurgitate them and make coherent thoughts. But I want to try.

I feel like I've achieved VICTORY.

All my suffering, heartache, worry and wondering what God's will was for me, has come to a front.

I feel so grateful that I never gave up, that I always had HOPE, that the pain was worth suffering to feel something

so glorious.

I'm not perfect and I've experienced the spectrum of emotion these past 10 years

(and specifically 5 years since Tanner)

as we have been through almost everything imaginable in trying to expand our family.

I could share the details of how many thousands of dollars we spent, or details of the unexplainable sadness I drank as I watched EVERY friend and family around me get the chance to give life as I felt gut wrenching envy and uncontrollable pain, or I could tell you details about the daily battle it was just to find confidence to smile some days, or details of the lonely burden I felt I had to carry by myself because the world was oblivious to my inward struggles, I felt as if I was living in my own personal purgatory...

but I won't.

Instead, I will tell you about the day to day fire that burned inside me, that gave me strength to press forward, to cling on to every ounce of hope, and the infinite love I felt from both my Savior and Heavenly Father that knew, were fully aware, and understood my anguish.

I had sacrificed my personal desires, unwillingly at times, for what I believe is the purpose we are here...to have a relationship with God and learn we must have unshakable faith in His will for us.

I selfishly wanted a baby.

The Lord wanted me to love Him and have faith.

This has been so worth it because not only has the destination been priceless, but the journey life changing. Hind site is wonderful! How much I wish I could have seen the future to know how to endure the past...but I have no regret. I never felt bitterness with each trial we were handed. I lived on my knees many nights wondering what I was to learn, how long I would have to feel the pain, or what it was that the Lord wanted from me...but I think he just wanted me to TRUST!

Some days were a constant battle in reminding myself of this, but I always believed. I knew He loved me and would bless me, and actually WAS constantly blessing me along the way. I would never change the way my life has evolved. It's through my loss's that I've gained something invaluable...a deep abiding testimony that we are never alone.

God is ALWAYS there for us.

He loves us.

He taketh but he giveth.

I'm reminded of a song by Hilary Weeks.

Last year after our invitro process failed, which I thought was our answer...I played her CD over and over, for days and weeks. It was literally my life line. I would listen to it and sing the words as I cried and cried and cried. Then again, after our first try at surrogacy with my sister failed, I ached with such intensity. I had dropped my sister off at the airport in St Louis and had the 2.5 hour drive back to my house alone. I played her CD on repeat and sang each song as I bawled my eyes out the

ENTIRE DRIVE HOME.

I was feeling such conflicting emotions, and this song really penetrated my soul as I felt it to be such truth.

**************************

You Give

You give me sight

when I can't see

You give me breath

when I can't breathe

And You give me love

and You give me peace

And You always seem to give just what I need

You take my doubt

And replace it with truth

You take my fear

so all I see is You

You take me as I am

and You take me by the hand

You see to my soul and You take

Just what I need

CHORUS:

You give and take away

and refine me day by day

As You lead me through the bitter and sweet

I am trusting You to make me complete

Though You see the heartache

You're sending Your sweet grace

As You give

and You take

You give me strength

and You give me life

You give me hope

and You give me light

You take my pain

and You take my shame

You bless me to see

the give and take is just what I need

chorus

Please send your perfect grace

as You give

and You take

******************************

Those words say it all. Exactly what I felt. Exactly what I still DO feel.

I thought The Lord was taking something away from me...

but what He was taking was only my doubt, fear and pain. He replaced it with love, peace and hope. I almost tangibly felt the refining process. Though I wasn't physically being chipped away at, I was spiritually in my heart and soul, at the core of my very being.

I'm so grateful that such a humbling process to conquer has delivered such a beautiful reward.

It was worth the wait.

I feel like I'm a much better person because of my journey. Thanks to my Heavenly Father for making me reach my potential (I'm totally not even there yet, but am climbing). I KNOW I am a better mom because of this.

I love completely. I cherish motherhood.

I have SO MUCH to thank my Heavenly Father for.

His love is real.

God answers prayers.

savoring each second

I know you guys are probably getting sick of baby pictures.

If you are, you have a problem. lol.

Seriously though. This has been the best month of my life in a LONG time.

I am in heaven,

and several times I day I still have to pinch myself.

It's funny how long you can grieve and experience pain, but in a solitary moment it's all washed away and forgotten.

I've waited for this day for 10 years now.

I never thought it would take this long to fight for a family, but each day I fought the battle it just gave my heart that much more time for love to grow and intensify, and I know I'm a better mother now because of it.

SOOOOOOO....

please endure with me, and thanks for sharing my

JOY!

I promise I will do a give-away soon.

I know I said that awhile ago.

But I have some cute things I've been making.

stay tuned

Now check out my weed growing baby!!

2 days old

one month old

I wish I would have put her in a onesie in the first picture...she has rolls on her legs now and those cheeks are juicy and plump. No more chicken legs.

Kam is growing TOO fast!!!!

I LOVE HER SO MUCH.